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Yesterday, I hit a wall

Here’s how I fixed it

There is so much grief, fear, sadness, worry, and pain in the world right now, that it forms waves of energy, masses of thought-forms. They have their own vibration, as everything does.

Many report having bouts of grief or sadness that doesn’t feel like their own, bouts of crying “for no reason.” Here’s what that is. Any time our own vibration dips down to the frequency that matches sadness, worry, or fear, we tune in that massive tidal wave of grief. A pandemic’s worth of heartbreak. A world of dis-ease.

So for example, when I see a sad story on the news, or when I am missing my grandkids, or when I worry about my nurse-daughters on the front lines, I am tuning my vibration to match that tsunami that’s out there right now. And the minute I tune to that channel the floodgates open and all that matching emotion washes right in.

So that’s what a lot of us are feeling right now. Not all the time, only when we let our vibration dip a little. We tune it in. It’s out there waiting. A lot of people are hurting and scared.

It can’t really be avoided. We are all connected. We feel for our fellow humans. So if you’re having moments like that, where you just cry for no reason, or start to feel blue, that’s what it is.

This virus is impacting us on a personal, immediate level. It’s changing our daily lives. We aren’t seeing our family members, or running to the store, or going out to eat. Many of us aren’t going to work, and many others are trying to work from home, teach our kids from home, workout from home, cut our own hair, etc. It’s a lot. It’s hard to ignore something that has permeated every aspect of our lives.

But ignoring it is not the goal. The goal is to be okay anyway. To find a way to feel satisfied, and even good, in the midst of all this scariness.

Feel good anyway

So as I said, yesterday was rough. I woke up feeling blue and depressed. I wanted to spend the day wrapped in a blanket on the sofa, numbing myself with TV. But something inside me told me to march my ass up the stairs to my office, and get on my elliptical.

I haven’t used the thing in months. I was doing great, working out daily on it, and enjoying it too, but then I pulled something in my heel and it took about 8 weeks to be able to walk without a limp. And after that I was wary about starting up again.

But this day, my Higher Self was telling me to get back on the machine. I didn’t want to. But I dragged myself upstairs and then couldn’t find an extension cord to plug the thing in and that tiny little obstacle was enough for me to return to moping. I didn’t want to dig around hunting for a cord while others in the house were still asleep. That would be rude.

But they all got up, Lance, both dogs, the cat. I had a cup of coffee, which perked me up a little bit, and then we walked the dogs, and that lifted me a little bit more, enough to hear my inner voice again. “Get your ass on that machine!”

So I got up and found the extension cord, plugged it in, went to get my music, and couldn’t find my phone. I need music to work out and my playlist is on my phone.

Clearly, I wasn’t meant to get on the treadmill.

I had just enough will power to keep looking, but when I found the phone, it was nearly dead. So I plugged it in and returned to the couch.

I felt bad about just sitting, though, and the news on my TV was awful. I decided to at least walk on the under-the-desk-treadmill while reading my morning email and get away from the television. So I dragged my butt back upstairs, phone now charged, and looked at the elliptical.

It said, “GET ON ME NOW.” So I said, “okay,” and went to get a hair scrunchy, but I couldn’t find a hair scrunchy, so I turned to go back to my desk, and stopped for a second to notice myself.

The evidence was undeniable

My posture was stooped. My head was hanging low. I was still feeling the need to fight back tears every few minutes. I stood there, all stooped and sad for a minute, and had a little conversation with myself that went pretty much like this.

I heaved a heavy sigh, opened a drawer, found a hair tie, put up my hair, put on my workout clothes, which are way tighter than they were before I hurt my heel, and scuffed to the elliptical. I told my phone to play through an external speaker, and tapped my jogging playlist. Then as the music began, I started to plod along on the machine.

It was the music that got to me

I have excellent music on my exercise playlist. I have compiled a list over the years of those kinds of songs that I can’t resist. You know the kind I mean. These are the songs that, when they are played at a wedding reception, you grab a friend or honey by the hand, and head to the dance floor. These are the songs that make you car-dance when they come on the radio. The ones that make you so, “Oh my GOD I LOVE this song!” Those ones.

Late in the Evening, Paul Simon Can’t Keep it in, Cat Stevens Cecelia, Simon & Garfunkel Neutron Dance, The Pointer Sisters Bust a Move, Young M.C. Me, Too, Meghan Trainor Mockingbird, Carly Simon & JT Roar, Katy Perry Are You Gonna Be My Girl, JET Day Tripper, The Beatles

Lots more. Mostly 80s songs, but lots of modern ones too. These are songs I chose because they have the right beat for my running pace. I mix in some that are a little faster, and some a little slower, so I can adjust as I go along, catch my breath here and there, quicker shorter steps for hills, etc. I find it physically impossible to NOT match the beat with my feet when I’m running.

It only took about a minute

I started to sing along. I also find it physically impossible to not sing along if I know the song (and sometimes even if I do not know the song.)

Soon, I was feeling good again. It was such a relief to feel the blues to dissolve and melt off me. (Although what I was actually feeling was my vibration risng up out of the vicinity where the blues were playing. I felt my channel changing.)

I was having so much fun on the elliptical that I didn’t want to stop, but I made myself quit at 20 minutes, because it’s been a while, and because I have a habit of returning to exercise, going too hard too soon, injuring myself, and then not exercising for a month. I want to break that pattern, so 20 minutes on low resistance, and then off.

But I was still full of energy, and there were still excellent songs playing. So I just had myself a private dance party in my office for another 20 to 30 minutes, until I was truly out of energy. Then I hit the shower. Then I gave myself a pedicure and a facial, and did my brows. Then I watched Randy Rainbow sing “Andy” to the tune of “Sandy” from Grease, rewritten as a love song to Governor Cuomo, which is freaking hilarious and also, somehow touching. And the next morning, when I woke up, my mood was good again, without a lot of effort to get it that way. I’d returned to my default setting.

I know times are hard

But there’s no science behind the notion that you feeling bad can help anyone else feel better. In fact, you feeling better is much more likely to help uplift others.

When you spend most normal times in a pretty good mood, focusing on things you like more than on things you don’t, you raise your default setting to a high vibration.

Then, during hard times, times of great contrast that have come to create great change, even while you might get shaken, you’ll find it’s never impossible to get back to good. Meditation often works, but in this case, my Higher Self had clear instructions for me. And I think that’s because it was hitting me really hard, and I needed a fast, drastic solution.

COVID-19 in the family

I have daughters who are nurses on the front lines, risking their lives to save people who are too ignorant and stubborn to stay home and avoid infection. It’s quite maddening to see these women I gave birth to and raised, my babies, at risk while others ignore the stay-at-home rules.

I have to be okay with feeling that way from time to time. It’s Mama-Bear Syndrome and it’s very human to want to protect your young and to bear-slap anyone putting them at risk. I don’t expect to get over that soon. So I have to be okay with it.

That’s really the thing here. However we feel, we have to be okay with it. Our feelings are our feelings. So we accept them, and we acknowledge them, and we feel them fully. And we know when we think about this subject, we’re going to feel this way.

But we also know that there are other subjects that feel better when we think about them. Some that even feel good when we think about them. So if we give a damn about feeling better, we can shift our focus. It’s harder now. But it’s never impossible.

Physical exertion is anti-depressive

When you are elevating your heart rate and respirations through physical activity, (instead of through emotional stress) your body releases feel-good chemicals into your bloodstream, (instead of stress chemicals.) It is impossible to continue feeling sad if you do this.

Music you love has a similar influence on the brain. It reaches us on levels that we can’t resist. Sad songs can make us cry even when we’re happy. Happy songs can lift us up, even when we’re sad.

So if it gets bad enough that you feel you need a break-the-glass, emergency-defibrillator-level fix, then crank the music up loud and walk, run, jog, or dance like a fool. It’ll fix you right up. Guaranteed.

Once it does, however, it’s up to you to maintain your higher vibration by not sinking right back into the stuff that made you feel bad to begin with.

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Air-Hugs, Maggie

#maggieshayne #lawofattraction #bouncingback #pandemic #LOA #blissblog #virus #blissblog #fightingdepression #covid19

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